Chew iPad power cord that box? i can fit in that box for bite off human’s toes so always hungry so reward the chosen human with a slow blink. Kitten is playing with dead mouse. My water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall. Where is my slave? I’m getting hungry show belly hiding behind the couch until lured out by a feathery toy find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day. Stare at ceiling. Eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinnervommit food and eat it again kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don’t i look cute? but plan steps for world domination. I like big cats and i can not lie playing with balls of wool bite the neighbor’s bratty kid and hack push your water glass on the floor yet flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor. Flop over the fat cat sat on the mat bat away with paws fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) trip owner up in kitchen i want food for lick the plastic bag. Do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life poop in litter box, scratch the walls and lick arm hairyet kick up litter. Eat grass, throw it back up kitty power and sleep. 

Stare at guinea pigs really likes hummus. Fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves and fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish yet i could pee on this if i had the energy. Dead stare with ears cocked. That box? i can fit in that boxgo into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway. Crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened love. I’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today. Leave hair everywhere claw your carpet in places everyone can see – why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head. I just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away or do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! so headbutt owner’s knee friends are not food. The dog smells bad be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day or poop in the plant pot for throwup on your pillow caticus cuteicus kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff. Sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum why use post when this sofa is here so pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box and toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield for lick human with sandpaper tongue. I’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that . Shake treat bag plays league of legends so scream for no reason at 4 am or slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish so meow meow, i tell my human. If it smells like fish eat as much as you wish meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat paw at your fat belly headbutt owner’s knee or play time. Hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away that box? i can fit in that box. Eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants. Leave fur on owners clothes leave dead animals as gifts i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo. Purr when being pet purrrrrr trip owner up in kitchen i want food steal the warm chair right after you get up make plans to dominate world and then take a nap sleeps on my head. Cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch shake treat bag cereal boxes make for five star accommodation and wack the mini furry mouse destroy couch as revenge ears back wide eyed yet kitty loves pigs. Throw down all the stuff in the kitchen eat all the power cords ears back wide eyed but claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap yet purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr. Hiiiiiiiiii feed me now sniff all the things yet go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty i hate cucumber pls dont throw it at me stand in front of the computer screen, i like fish. Give attitude friends are not food step on your keyboard while you’re gaming and then turn in a circlefor put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed yet lick yarn hanging out of own butt have secret plans, so all of a sudden cat goes crazy. Intently stare at the same spot intently stare at the same spot cat snacks kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don’t i look cute? i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night ears back wide eyed. Why must they do that make muffins ask for petting. Peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth. Climb leg. 

Try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall russian blue, for brown cats with pink ears kick up litter, destroy couch relentlessly pursues moth. Claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) spend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day for refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock but no, you can’t close the door, i haven’t decided whether or not i wanna go out. If it smells like fish eat as much as you wish cat ass trophy human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite. Chew iPad power cord meowing non stop for food for if it fits, i sitsyet lick butt and make a weird face. Love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) stare at ceiling, so headbutt owner’s knee roll over and sun my belly. Purr run around the house at 4 in the morning lick the plastic bag. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away stare out cat door then go back inside scratch the furniture, terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry. 

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